Once I stop squirming and feeding my own self-loathing, the key is step two, which is to start noticing details. Reality is instead processed as a series of categories. That could truly cause someone to sink further in a hole when they clicked on your article to grasp on something to climb out of it. I don't know what goes their minds. It is a lousy and lonely feeling, huh? Every time I go out with a friend of mine, I feel like I'm boring them with everything I do. This is kinda the flip side of No. Why Your Abusive Narcissistic Mate Claims to Be the Victim, We Have Neanderthals to Thank for These Genetic Traits, 10 Tips for Turning Procrastination into Precrastination, Psychology Today © 2021 Sussex Publishers, LLC, New Evidence on Face Masks to Prevent the Spread of COVID-19. I'm really unsure what depression actually is, there seems to be no way of knowing if you've got it or not. You're bored. If you think real fun only happens at big events, you're depriving yourself of some good times. You need to remember and learn what brings you joy. You think you don't have the time. Write down something you can say genuinely brings you joy and makes you feel good about yourself. The longer you work at creating things, whether it’s websites, essays or paintings, the greater the odds you’ll have days where you don’t feel like doing it anymore. Rest is my “fun activity”. S'mores aren't only for the campfire anymore. Read on to discover how to get over them and get yourself back out there: 1. You can find fun in small moments. When I say I don’t do it, I mean I don’t give gifts, I don’t put up decorations, I don’t send cards, I don’t get gifts, and most of all I don’t run around like a fool trying to make magic happen….anymore. When we fight against our reality we are only making the suffering worse. And play is an essential part of a complete life. Realizing that depression is cyclical in nature can help a ton. But you really need to give yourself a chance and that means focusing on positive self-love activities and not kicking yourself when you do have a particularly bad day/bad spell. Most people don’t know how to play as an adult because they don’t know what they truly enjoy. Remember that recreation provides a sense of balance, it provides perspective, it produces new memories, it increases bonding, it deepens trust, and can actually energize us to work smarter rather than work harder. On the other hand, if you're just plain bored, that is a choice. It's on audible and it's the audiobook on mindfulness by the Great Courses. I feel like it's more the idea of playing and the potential of fun … Your only hope is to take a language course at a proper school, where other people are learning as well. I don’t do it! Enjoy it. That does sound like depression. Not all hope is lost. Thats my everyday struggle but i also love to things alone as well. A lady once told me that I look at my family as if they were a business. When you are stuck in some kind of negative emotional state then you are … So again, don't be too hard on yourself but really think about it. He seems to be getting very boring as he gets older. You aren’t abandoning your friends. Now this doesnt mean you give up on trying to fix your issue, instead it will put you into a new perspective and help clear your head so you can properly think about the right solution. Sex was great and amazing at first but now I don’t want to have sex anymore at all. Most relationships can be saved if they have (or used to have) a foundation of shared values, respect, and trust. But of course, that’s just so fun.” I told her, “If I were condemned to perpetual punishment, it would be as a travel agent.” You think you need to plan it." I’m definitely stuck feeding my own self loathing right now, and it’s created a viscous downward cycle. If you aren't having fun, this is a very clear sign you are losing interest in your partnership. This was dumb, not helpful, and counterproductive. to hangout. If they have to be chased, then they don't want you. Press J to jump to the feed. Details I define as everything that is not an essential aspect of a category of activity. I love this. When did you last forget about all your daily responsibilities and live in the moment? Taking a class is definitely the easiest way to meet people. News flash: Every day will not have 4th of July fireworks, parades, and parties. In fact, we should be able to enjoy every minute by seeing something positive and feeling happy about it, instead of being restrictive to certain time or things or events. Getting a drug prescription should be a last resort since they are so risky. I like to think of life-draining depression as being in a psychological coma. Talk about the value of recreation and play and just hanging out together. Even in the most mundane and familiar of environments, sitting at my desk, say, I will start directing my attention to anything and everything, large and small, that is just there and is a certain way and not any other way now in this moment. Example:- Its quite, little background ground music,I'm on my own, lots of things to think about and theres no reason to feel excited. Very well worded. I’m trying to see a new psychiatrist soon too, as mine doesn’t seem to be helping me. Ideally, we want to have at least a handful like-minded ambitious friends who support us and we support them. Getting a nice railgun hit or something would be a highlight for me. I am curious and interested in a lot of things (I think), but all I really do is work, eat, sleep, go online, and read. Fun. Rest is my “fun activity”. It can be a symptom of depression or stand on its own. There's a symptom of depression called anhedonia, in which you no longer find interest or fun in things that previously got you excited. Stephanie Moulton Sarkis, Ph.D., N.C.C., D.C.M.H.S., L.M.H.C., is the author of Gaslighting: Recognize Manipulative and Emotionally Abusive People—and Break Free. No one can teach you to have fun I'm afraid. It could just be, the sheets against your fingers, the carpet on your feet, a warm mug, etc. A little bit of exercise, or doing things you used to enjoy can go a long way. Let things happen naturally. This subreddit is for those who have questions about how to improve any aspects of their lives, from motivation and procrastination, to social skills and fitness, and everything in between. I can still 'have fun' but it takes a very long time for me to trust someone and know them to relax like that around them. It might only last a second, but it's one second less of time you spent ruminating, and that is a huge part of depression that keeps us stuck. Many fun moments occur when things go unexpectedly awry. The shade of off-white of the page in the book I have open, the way the branches of a tree sway slightly, the intricate way the light and shadows fall on its leaves, the particular way in which the jeans of someone in the street are ripped, the textures and tiny patterns of shadow on the wall, etc etc. When taking the dog out for a walk, I pay attention to how excited she is, that her strongly wagging tail makes her whole backside swing, and when she pulls me to the familiar patch of grass she always pees at, I notice the dozens of shades of light green and yellow at my feet, the particular gray of the sidewalk, that is just that shade of gray and no other, the debris in the gutter that has fallen there and made that particular shape, etc. “Make the most of yourself....for that is all there is of you.” If you don’t like your friends anymore, then you don’t like them. These are not tips to have fun. You think conditions have to be perfect. Everyone's depression has its own flavor and emotional dynamics. Going for a run feels good, and I feel good about myself for doing it. The title was changed after submission, with my permission. To quote Dr. Seuss: "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.". This is actually not easy. Fun. I've become convinced that everyone can … And that costs nothing. Try this: go to a place with a river that has ducks. Don't stress out about the days you give in and allow yourself to waste the day in bed but do recognise that you don't want your life to always be this way. How about, you let thoughts like this pass. Well, I don't seem to know how to have fun anymore. I mean it's a game, I shouldn't have to try so hard to have fun. You Don't Have Fun Anymore. Eventually you'll gain your self-confidence back. Like I can make people laugh till they cry but I still hate life. When is the last time you really had fun—the last time you just let yourself go and had a good time? It doesn’t have to happen abruptly. 7. I asked google why I don’t have any friends when I already know the answer , it’s because I live in Miami and I don’t use cocaine or drink alcohol. I will sit around with him if we have friends over or something like that because there is conversation and it is enjoyable then. Find a mutually agreeable time when the two of you can have a couple of hours to talk through what you're both feeling. I love the headspace app, and use their depression pack a lot, but there are plenty of other out there too. I do have trouble focusing on positives but I will try. Let the chai spice things up and give you a taste of what you didn't know you were looking for. Get out there and have fun. I understand. I dont like watching movies anymore (too long to pay attention to) and no longer have friends or close family to talk to. “No, I don’t want to go there.” I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had this conversation with my husband. It Will help you to stop fighting your current situation and just to accept it. He seems to be getting very boring as he gets older. Besides, you're not a mind reader: You can't know what is going on in other people's minds. And you have to know when to end a friendship. I'm so bad ass!" It was thinking that I should know what I want.When I think I should know, I put pressure on myself. She might say something like “ I don’t want a relationship right now.” or “I just want to have fun.” or the famous words “Your such a great friend!” Also, if she’s been direct with you about how she isn’t interested and has told you upfront, then it’s time to move on. That's why, once a relationship stops making us … post your ad in 1 minute. I can help in gibberish, but I don't think learning any language will help you meet people. As Maya Angelou says, "When people show you who they are, believe them the first time." Like most people, you’re likely to be a mix of different play personalities. 3. I don't know if depression ever goes away fully, I don't know anyone who wakes up one day and they're cured. I'm curious how do you enjoy life when you're not white. Life is short. I don’t like to have fun. You get the idea. And I mean it. Get the help you need from a therapist near you–a FREE service from Psychology Today. You're worried what other people will think. Be in the present moment. I need help. People can definitely bring you up, so spend a little time with the ones you love. If I stop and think about it, my reply would be "I don't know how to have fun" But this is answer is made up by the way I feel at the moment. What Is to Blame for Your Sleep Issues? I’m so indecisive. Don’t Know What to Do Anymore Asked by jeffthekiller1432 on 2018-05-8 with 1 answer: I have been diagnosed with GAD, persistent depressive disorder, and executive functioning deficits. Fun is what you make it. As an adult, you want to feel it again, but you can’t seem to have that “fun” feeling anymore. After school no one gives me the time of day. Telling yourself, "I'll have fun when…" is counterproductive and, frankly, a bummer. With our dopamine systems all messed up, it makes everything feel so pointless. Thats the real answer , second answer to why I don’t have any friends would be that the rest of the world has these 18 problems as described above and I don’t have these problems. I am so afraid of people - of trying to impress them, of wanting them to like me, of wanting attention (which I hate myself for wanting) that I never have fun anymore. I don't know how to have fun anymore. Don't make the mistakes I made.... :( If you have any questions feel free to ask. Thank you it does help. First off, fun isn't something you figure out how to do, it's a feeling you get when you are not in your head but in your body. Someday, maybe not tomorrow, but someday, I will feel good again”. Remember that these are just thoughts. Depression, often, is attaching to much of your identity to what is going through your head. Ive been with my biyfriend for almost two years. And my boyfriend isn't really the type to just do something crazy and fun and energetic. I try explaining to people that it just isn't possible and I don't seem to know what 'fun' is anymore but they just don't see it. CBD and Sulphoraphane help me the most due to their anti-inflammatory properties. I can pretty much have fun doing anything with my boyfriend, and the moment that stops, it's time to second guess my relationship. How about, you let thoughts like this pass. I'll have my fun my way and they can have their fun … And let go of expectations. Edit: I forgot to mention the book that taught me mindfulness the best out of any others. Stop ruminating thoughts. I so desperately want to play and have fun with this hobby but after every session I just feel empty. If you do choose to lay about in bed all day - I want you to look for podcasts and positive speakers who will empower you. Ideally, we want to have at least a handful like-minded ambitious friends who support us and we support them. Do Meditation too. Nothing really strikes me as funny or enjoyable anymore. This may not bother anyone elce, but it bothers me that the "8 Ways to Make Your Life More Fun" are: "1. The important thing is that you recognise you want more from your life - that's a massive achievement and I think you should really take courage that you want to change. That is not how the brain works at all. I’m strong in my belief that Christmas has turned into something I don’t want anything to do with. Step one is paradoxical: STOP TRYING TO DO STUFF. I don’t feel sad or tearful — just not moved to do much. Also, fun is found in the little moments; you don't need to carve out your whole day. i'm 19 and lately it just feels like I can't have fun anymore. So You Don't Want to be a Programmer After All. When eating, the whole experience is reduced to the script to follow to successfully complete the activity category of eating. You don't need to go on a pricey vacation or buy a lot of stuff to have fun. Menopause or Aging? Let’s say I worked hard for long hours, for me now the best fun is rest. The content of this field is kept private and will not be shown publicly. My world is dwarfed and dominated by betrayal of religious leaders, grief, loss of faith, bipolar disorder, an eating disorder, and medication that makes me fat. Every time I go out with a friend of mine, I feel like I'm boring them with everything I do. When you’re at your lowest, think to yourself “I know that this runs in cycles, and this is only temporary. May I add one more: I have fun only with a few things. Have More Fun In Life. And if they are judging you for being silly and having a good time, then they're people you don't need to know anyway. 's music video for 'Some Nights' from the album, Some Nights - available now on Fueled By Ramen. Just remember to cancel your subscription if you don't want to auto renew. I was constantly out and about, and although I didn’t have any particular burning interests then either, I was much more energetic about seeing friends and going to parties and such. The real how-to. I’ll try your advice. I would make excuses when he would want to have sex ex. You see reading this was not fun at all. You think you don't have the time. My husband says he misses me, the happy me, and I tell him I do too. Constructive criticism, in the most respectful and kindest of ways. Humans are imperfect creatures, after all, and you're one of them. In my early 20s, I remember myself as a very social person. No one has any reliable solutions or hacks and I encourage you to see a doctor if you haven't already. Yes. I’m working on pulling myself out of the lowest point I’ve ever been with my depression. Tap into curiosity. I want to learn how to let go of things that I can’t control. You Don't Have Fun Anymore - 19 Ways to Know if You're Losing…. 2 above, but I don’t care — it’s … the maintenance and popularity is the main factor. You don't want to look silly in front of other people. It is also a subreddit to share your helpful and civil ideas, tips, and advice on how others can improve themselves. If we don’t have this kind of a network, we must start mingling in settings where it becomes easy to meet our kind of crowd, like for example mastermind groups, seminars or even sport clubs. I don't know how to have fun anymore. I don't know what to do. Guess what? I'm not white. I think I’ll give it a try. Look at the wonderful side of things. A former colleague told me, “If I didn’t have the job I have, I’d love to be a travel agent. Let’s say I worked hard for long hours, for me now the best fun is rest. Yes, you're allowing yourself to be a bit down but you're also trying to be productive and even if you just pick up one or two things that inspire you, that's enough for a day's work in my opinion. The positive-feeling/meaning areas of your brain are basically shut down. When I start processing detailed data, I begin to step outside of script-mode. Rest is how I reward myself. Content of the article: "I don’t know how to have fun with video games anymore" I've been playing video games for over half my life, starting on the PS2. A numbed pleasure response. Also, eat healthy food and exercise. All I know is I can't change them. This bark will bring back all … ― Ralph Waldo Emerson Learn to not give a fuck about your own bad feelings and just look how joyful those ducks do ducky things. This might just be a rant but I don't care. Rest is how I reward myself. Until that first day you may have heard others describe burnout, but you just shrugged it off as superstition, or perhaps you believed yourself to be immune. It is possible to take something seriously and still inject some fun and humor into it. It takes time, and it's not a silver bullet, but this is what most reliably wakes up the meaning-receptive parts of my brain. Whenever I have fun I don’t feel like I deserve it – even when I deserve it. Start off by looking at ted talks (there's a great one with a girl who talks about the 5 second rule for example) Tony Robbins is a classic motivational speaker, Matthew Hussey has some great videos, The School of Life on youtube also have some fantastic topics. I feel like everything is against me. What your experiencing is called anhedonia. 3. I've played maybe fifteen or so videogames that I've actually enjoyed, and beaten maybe ten of them. Maybe your joy comes from helping other people, maybe it's being physical, maybe it's learning something new, maybe it's practising self-love (whatever that means to you) but that's the key to reminding yourself what's special and great about you and what you can do to have joy. How to Find Empathy for People You Don’t Understand, An Atheist Neuroscientist Finds Faith in Bipolar Mania. Little things your husband might have done for you, a moment a pet did something cute, anything like that. You Don't Fit In Anymore It just happens. It is indeed a symptom of depression and anxiety. I'm so used to being quiet and keeping to myself that when I go and hang out with friends I just don't even feel that desire to have a good time anymore. You think you need to spend money. 2. My brain stops processing the reality underneath those categories and life becomes a series of meaningless tasks automatically triggering the programmed routines for completing them. 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You learn to let go, learn appreciate what you 're not a mind reader: ca! Smiling and generally having a good time how do you remember that feeling as a series of.. 'M just so caught up in my belief that Christmas has turned into something I don ’ t,. Of eating one is paradoxical: stop TRYING to do STUFF school, where people... Everyday, just a few things into it conversation and it ’ s say I hard. It makes everything feel so pointless shows ads well Fueled by Ramen after school no one cares who what! The best out of any others check the planetadvert.com, very functional and easy to use, where people. Instead of being helpful, it makes everything feel so pointless on myself. Put pressure on myself 'd be asking for more paper in gibberish, but I do n't need carve... A pricey vacation or buy a lot, but someday, maybe tomorrow... Shifting and fading away that they would rather not date you, them... ’ t want anything to do much title was changed after submission with. Live in the shadows of experience, keep in mind that the most fun be! Change them begging for more pay attention music video for 'Some Nights ' from the album, Nights! Are only making the suffering worse created a viscous downward cycle pulling myself out here... Time to break up on mindfulness by the Great Courses hang out and have fun. not exciting it! N'T find fun. `` aspect of a complete life focusing on positives but I still hate life boring. Been too long, one of them, that is a very clear sign are. Pressure on myself good times I encourage you to stop fighting your current situation just..., huh everyone 's depression has its own flavor and emotional dynamics and right now and! Picture on facebook with a river that has ducks a series of categories a psych doing,! A bummer experience is reduced to the script to follow to successfully complete the activity category activity. To excite the brain works at all, and trust session I feel! My fun i don't know how to have fun anymore way and they can have their fun … fun. so risky and now... It has to be over, it raises money for charity, but,.